Tag: illness

on the quantification of pain

Multiple sclerosis is bullshit, you guys. No pity party, but rather a shout- out to the percentage of my readers who are dealing with chronic pain diseases and/ or syndromes: this crap is for the birds. I am officially, 100% over this. This stuff is just plain tricky, in so many ways that I’d never seen coming when I received…

in which I am working on compassion

My left leg is being an idiot again. It had been behaving for a bit there; not perfect, not ideal, but just okay enough that I was feeling hopeful. Today, though. Today I woke up with it feeling heavy, leaden, achy, dull and less- than- responsive. Stupid leg. Idiot leg. I got out of bed and immediately felt a flash…

in which I tell you about the truck

I saw my neurologist this week, the charming Dr. D, for a follow- up after my most recent MS flare. In truth, I go to him most often looking for confirmation of things I already know. I ask him things looking for a head- nod, and I usually get it. When I asked him if I could expect to regain…

in which there is possibly too much talk of keelhauling

You guys. YOU GUYS. I can’t even begin to address the enormous outpouring of love and support you’ve been sending my way over the last few days. It’s really amazing. THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. I have so many comments and emails to respond to, and it’s a little overwhelming, but I needed to tell you how much…

in which I am jumbled and rusty, but I tell it true

Did you ever have so much going on in your life, so much constant motion, that you just felt frozen? Locked up? That’s how it is over here these days. I’ve been digging through my toolbox of comfort behaviors- all my mental health lifesavers- but nothing has been doing the trick. There’s no magical plaster for the amount of sheer…

on infusions

This is not an easy entry for me to write. On the 27th of January I called my neurologist. I’d been sick, secretly sick, sneakily sick, doing That Thing I Do, where I hide all of my symptoms as though they are some Top Secret government project. I am good at secrets. I’d been losing the strength in the left…