on secret stashes

I’m giving away secrets today.

I’ll start out easy: Despite all this yoga business, I’ve never been able to turn a cartwheel. Just can’t seem to manage it. I thought it might be the whole “feet over head” thing- I had a thing about that for a while, lots of people do. I could do a handstand, but thought- maybe putting it into motion was the problem? I’m still not sure what the issue is. I don’t worry about it much. It’s just one of those funny things folks assume I can do because I do yoga and: NOPE. I wasn’t ever even vaguely gymnastic until WHAM: my thirties. Life is some kind of weird, right?

Also, I was pretty scared of dogs until my early twenties. There’s some murky, no- idea- what- it- was bad dog experience in my early childhood, and then another one involving being chased really briefly when I was in grammar school, too. I don’t remember ever being bitten or anything big like that, but we never had or were around dogs growing up, either, so there wasn’t a positive to outweigh those negatives. I’m so happy I learned we are dog people. Hugo is curled up next to me as I’m typing, and Lilu is on her bed in the corner of the living room, snoring away; they’re such a huge part of our lives. You’d never guess I wouldn’t have anything to do with dogs at all until I was about 23 or so.

Speaking of snoring, a guilty secret for you all, now. There are mornings when Sam will tell me he feels just awful and I don’t want to tell him the reason why: some nights, I will be in bed and he won’t be snoring, won’t be making a sound at all, not even that slow, heavy sleep- breath, and I will nudge him, because since his second stroke I am on alert. I know I should let him get every bit of his rest, but the less- balanced parts of me remember holding a compact mirror over Kiddo’s mouth when she was an infant, and wonders if this is a better option, wonders if Sam would trade better sleep for the undoubtedly upsetting conversation which would follow his inevitably waking up and seeing me holding a stupid mirror over his face. This is not 100% sane partner behavior, I know. His vascular neurologist assured us years ago I didn’t need to do things like this. I do them anyway, and consider myself “pretty all-right” because I don’t do that mirror thing.

Ooof, Sam will be annoyed when he reads that.

Anyway. (Ha! Another one: I said “anywaysforever, until my friend Teresa fixed me, and told that “anyway” was the correct form. It’s one of her top grammar peeves and she put up with it FOREVER because she is patient as Job. Now, I am so vigilant about it and it jumps out at me like a misplaced apostrophe.) ANYWAY— other not- so- secrets: I really dislike polo shirts, the only bodily fluid that truly sicks me out is spit/ mucus (Need someone to clean up anything else? A childhood in a home daycare/ with many siblings makes me your huckleberry!) I cannot stand bobbles and I do not care HOW GOOD THE DESIGN IS OR WHO KNOWS IT THEY ARE AWFUL TO MAKE AND TERRIBLE TO LOOK AT, I will always try any sour food presented, I have learned to love hugging strangers and that is a big surprise.

Also, I have this chest of wicked old yarn from I don’t even know when, folks, that I never even look at, don’t open for swaps or projects and don’t even really think about which is full of mystery and adventure and it is tied to what is currently my biggest secret of all, extremely tangentially, in that it needs to go. (This actual trunk, BTW, we picked up for all of twenty pounds in the UK when some sergeant was clearing house; I wasn’t even a knitter at the time and I straight lucked into a 100% cedar chest. How does that even happen? We are keeping the trunk.) It sits right in the middle of my living room.

Forgive my cruddy iPhone photo.

Forgive my cruddy iPhone photo.

There is some of my earliest dyeing in here, some old early 2000’s indies, some Kureyon Sock (come on, it’s pretty, I was a new knitter and it was that time), some handspun, it’s all over the place. I can’t vouch for what’s in here- some of it is amazing, some of it is embarrassing.  I’m not even sure what’s in here, it’s been so long since I looked. I think I saw a little Sundara? Anyway, it’s one of my saddest little secrets as a knitter; my right- out- in- the- open, utterly neglected, uncategorized, earliest real stash.

Clearly, I’m not using any of this. Ok, there’s one skein of Bugga in Sweetheart Underwing that I can see right on top— that colorway from the very first Sock Summit which was so, so pretty and almost impossible to make, we made maybe 36 skeins of it ever- I’m going to keep that. The rest of it, I think I can part with. Here’s the plan:

1.) I ask you, Gentle Reader, to do something silly, and hopefully you play along. See below for the “something silly”. **

2.) I randomly stuff four USPS Priority Mail envelopes (blank plastic envelopes of similar size for my overseas friends) FULL of yarn from this trunk. Sorry, no requests, but please let me know if you’re allergic to anything. All packages will contain wool, may also contain silk, cashmere, alpaca, angora, linen, cotton, nylon, bamboo, angelina, sea silk, baby camel, and other assorted textiles. There is ZERO acrylic in this trunk.

3.) I choose my two favorite responses and let the RNG choose two, as well!

4.) I’ll announce winners late next week. (I’m making Thursday, September 17th the cut- off to leave a video, everyone, although I won’t make any announcements until most likely a day or two after that- we’ll be travelling a bit around that date.) I will ask them for shipping for these– I know, I’ve been lax about it so far, but these will be heavy!

5.) I probably do all of this again, because I don’t think 4 envelopes is going to do the trick. We’re playing this by ear. And I’m going to have to do this with some Bugga/ Skinny Bugga minis in a minute, too, but we can talk about that later. Let’s get started on this trunk. Help me out, friends?

** Hey, what’s that “something silly” you have to do to enter, right? I’m not going to ask you to tell me your secrets, even silly ones. That’s a bit invasive, right? I am upping the ante for this Giveaway, though. There’s silk in that trunk. When I floated this to the family, Kiddo thought that it would be fun if we turned this into a sharing circle, and I’m into stuff like that. If you post a link in comments to a video of you making something, you’re entered for a package. You can show your face or just your hands; you can get really creative and animate yourself, too. Show us how to make things!

  One thought on “on secret stashes

  1. September 5, 2015 at 9:27 pm

    Something silly? OMG I met a woman yesterday at work and after a couple of hours chit chatting between customers, I say “I’ve got someone I’d like you to meet, can I fix you up? I take her picture and text it to a friend of ours, “can I introduce you to my friend”, and proceed to hook them up for a late dinner after work. It was not good. He’s a liberal and she’s a conservative, blah blah blah. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ON A FIRST ‘DATE?” WHO DOES THAT? Life was so much simpler when we just hooked up, drank, made out in the back seat of a car, and went to Waffle House the next morning.

    Hubby may have sleep apnea. Suggest to dr. that he has a sleep study done. Also elevating his head (wedge pillow..just about 10 degrees may make a difference. It’s dangerous for his health.

    OH, and if you need to I’d be happy to send off a package too…my stash is huge!!! (btw, I love wool)

  2. September 6, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    My husband has a fully clogged artery and another that is half clogged. I kinda wiggle him or throw my arm or leg over him in the middle of the night if he isn’t snoring enough. I totally get that and don’t think it is silly at all. I do have two weird things I do. One is whenever I make myself a green monster for breakfast I refill my glass with water throughout the day to not waste all the spinachy vitamins. So I keep drinking watered down spinach dregs which is kinda gross but I just don’t want to waste my nutritious meal. The second is I like a beer in the evening but I don’t actually drink a full beer. I have my husband pump it with those wine pump thingies. So I guess I am just not one to waste liquids either way you look at it ;-/

  3. September 8, 2015 at 11:39 pm

    This is really silly! I realized I’ve never taken a video of myself, much less of me making things. So here’s a little video of me making origami heart. From my house to yours, may it brighten your day even if only a tiny bit.

    • September 14, 2015 at 4:22 pm

      Hooray! You’re the BEST.

      • September 15, 2015 at 2:45 am

        I figured it’s a matter of people jumping ahead and not reading footnotes, LOL. As a lifelong obsessive reader, I read everything including the fine prints (it pays for times like this!)

  4. September 9, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    Sometimes I create stories in my head and keep thinking about them throughout the day, I get distracted and can’t seem to end the story. When I’m about to go to sleep, I think about other scenarios that would be fun or interesting and just when I think I really should write this story somewhere, I fall asleep.
    I’m new to knitting so my stash is small, this is a great opportunity. Thank you for doing this! 🙂

  5. September 16, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    Making this video was an interesting adventure. The video is a little bumpy in parts, but it’s as good as it will be for 15 hours of work. Enjoy – How to make a 3D Paper snowflake.

    If it doesn’t work, I was also able to successfully load it to my blogger blog here:

    • September 30, 2015 at 5:15 pm

      Hooray for this!! ❤ ❤ ❤

    • October 6, 2015 at 8:47 pm

      Could you please drop me an email at onmytiptoes(AT)gmail.com? I’ve got something I’d like to send you!

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