There has been a great deal happening, folks.
Not writing, though. I think what has been happening is that there has been so much going on, I haven’t had time to process it enough to write it all out. I’ve got two posts in the hopper, but they aren’t quite ready for prime time.
Already, this has turned into one of those awful, “I’m so sorry I’ve been away” posts. Agh.
The short version: August was a frenetic blur, full of more than I could ever have imagined. Most of it was amazing, but the bad parts were worse than horrible, and I am glad I will never re-live that month. August 2013, you’re going down as one of my least favorite months ever. I’ll have more to say about that later, but for now that’ll have to do.
September 2013 looks promising, though. We’ll see. I’m working hard to be positive. Things have changed, a lot. Kiddo is gone, off to college, and we’re adapting. One of those posts is about that, a little, but I don’t know. As soon as I think I have a handle on that, on those feelings, they slip away from me and change. It’s a strange thing.
I’m here, though. Sitting with things. Fermenting, ruminating, thinking. Letting everything settle. Trying to sort through an awful lot of wreckage and see exactly how I feel about everything. I’m not sure, honestly. I’m not certain of a lot of things lately. Everything feels very unsettled. Not the important things: Sam, Kiddo, the studio, home, our key friends- but everything else? Christ.
I try not to stress, though. Instead of getting all worried- because really, what good does worry do?- I am trying to breathe my way through. I listen to Night Vale and make up silly stories in my head about the characters in my spare time. I play with the dogs, read my books, make lists, study painting, water my plants. Time will pass, my feelings will pass, and the facts will be there, clear, under it all. I just need to wait it out. This is how it always is, how it will always be: I just need to be patient, and my head will clear, all the mess of last month will wash out.
There are more important things, always. I’m well aware. Focus.
Sending out my not- so- clear message to the internet with the hopes that if your August wasn’t so great, you’re coming to a point of clarity soon, and that if you’re in the middle of a not- so- awesome September, that it passes quickly. Autumn should be brilliant for everyone, always. There should be a law.