Oh, I am so behind this week. Behind on everything, from my LoVGT (List of Very Good Things) to my laundry to a class I'm supposed to be taking online, late on finishing everything, late on starting anything I'd planned this week. Agh.
I'm making new lists of things to do- and simplifying them, this time. Trying to carefully determine how much can and should go into a day.
Speaking of lists: my very, very late list of things that are good:
There is a lot going on right now- changes to the house, changes in routine and ritual, classes, yoga (I signed up for a set of classes at a very nearby studio, so excited), puppies to train.
Wait, did I say puppies? I meant puppy. This puppy, and to hell with self- restraint.
The camera use around the dogs is constant and epic. I keep trying to photograph the two of them playing together, but they're too fast and it all comes out as a blur. I did managed to catch one of poor Lilu after a play session, though.
(What's that line about sleeping dogs?) The longer we have a puppy, the more I come to realize that Lilu is older than I'd really thought about. She's about seven years old, which is about middle aged for a Rottweiler, even a tiny one like our girl. She's incredibly patient about Hugo crawling all over her and chewing on her face, but he wears her right out. Just looking at her trying to keep up with him wears me out.
I try to be sweet to her, and take her on walks, and be patient when she insists on tearing up my new door trying to eat the mailman or the milkman or the UPS man or, well, anyone how doesn't live or work here. You only get so many days. I think about that a lot- about the amount of days/ hours/ minutes we get, and how we never really know what that number is, and how that's probably a kindness. If I knew how many hours I had, I'd probably spend 15 minutes calculating how many I'd spent in a job I loathed and then I'd spend at least another 45 minutes being angry about it. Possibly more.
That's one of the nice things about MS. There aren't many, but this is one of them: I'm constantly aware that things could be very different for me, that they might end up very different for me. It might be sudden, or it might creep up on me, or it might not even happen at all. All that uncertainty, especially after a full year of uncertainty- helps me stay closer to the moment. Things are good; I should focus on those things, and how good they are. Next year I might not be able to have sore knees from running. I probably will, but who knows? There's no use eating up my minutes/ hours/ days worrying about that, but I'm definitely more conscious and careful to enjoy things. I used to let so much pass me by. It's nicer this way.