in which I’m still getting it straight

 

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I screwed up. I got sloppy with my pills over the last week and I'm feeling like hell today. I can't even fake it over the phone; Gryphon called me on it right away, despite my protests. Ach. I hate when I can't fake it.

So today is a bad day, but it's an informative one, at least. I'm religious about my shots – and I need to get smarter about my pills. There are a lot of them, but it's not unmanageable; the only this prohibiting me from getting this right is laziness, and I can't afford to be lazy. Today has been a pretty decent reminder of why I have those pills- today I'm learning how much I need them.

I'm still figuring it all out. People keep telling me they know someone else with MS, that I should talk to them, and I always almost take them up on it… and then I don't. I could use a mentor, or something, someone like that, but how do you begin that conversation? What do you say? "Hi, my name is Sarah, I have lesions. How are your lesions?"

I don't know. 

A few days ago I was in a diner restroom and met a woman with a completely badass walker. It carried things in a basket, like a kid's bike, and you could turn it into a chair. It was glittery and purple, exactly like my bike as a kid, actually- all it needed was tassels on the handrests. I asked her about it- it was a cane day, which made it easier.

It was awesome, actually. She had MS, too. She told me about making the insurance companies pay for things like canes, and walkers (even awesome ones!), and about making the transition from canes to walkers to wheelchairs (she is usually in a wheelchair). She was cheerful and sweet and overall just made me feel better without even trying.

For now, I'm on my own, with all my plans. Plans such as: quit smoking (I don't want to get into it, but I'm doing all right on this one), eat as well as I can, yoga, meditation. Taking my pills on time. And running. I felt good enough for running this week, if not for the snow. I hope I can get back to that whenever Baltimore gets around to plowing my neighborhood. I guess that means I have until about June. Oh, Baltimore.

 

  One thought on “in which I’m still getting it straight

  1. February 12, 2010 at 3:16 am

    Are you in Baltimore?? I lived there for a short spell. Even with all the snow, I can say I miss it a bit. I’m in tropical climes which have been the opposite – excessively hot and humid with too much rain if it does rain. Messy.
    I lived for a short time with someone with MS when I was in college (during a summer), and I was always so impressed with his meld of facing challenges but also standing up to them. You sound like you have good plans and are doing well taking care of yourself. I’m also always impressed with people that have the gumption to speak to strangers. But when that doesn’t seem comfortable, what about internet acquaintances and chats with people going through the same things?

  2. mel
    February 12, 2010 at 8:01 am

    Most of us have trouble getting our standard day to day stuff straight, this has got to be a huge adjustment and it seems natural that it would take time. XO, sending warm thoughts.

  3. Melodye
    February 12, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    I don’t have MS, but I do have a new kidney. I took loads of pills in the beginning and still take my fair share. I know you have the pill organizers. What’s helped me is reminders on my phone and computer and then disciplining myself to take them. It’s not fun getting used to your body’s changes, but you can do it. I’m cheering for you!

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