in which I have 25 Things, courtesy of Kate

  1. I always struggle with these lists. I want to be honest, but that means putting the ugly things in here too, and I don’t like the ugly things.
  2. I worry that when I leave the workplace and go into business for myself at home I may become a less interesting person. (There. That’s an okay start for honest.)
  3. I have to work really hard at being patient, kind, and emotionally generous. I very much want to be all three, but I think some pretty mean things. I frequently think the whole “being a good person” thing probably comes more easily to other people. 
  4. I have become more liberal as I’ve aged. I thought that was supposed to work in reverse, but I’m glad it didn’t.
  5. Since Sam’s stroke I don’t think there has been a single day that I haven’t actively thought about his mortality. It changes everything.
  6. I’m really glad it changed everything.
  7. I like being alone, and I’m surprised I wound up partnered.
  8. I have ridiculous but rigorously adhered- to rituals for stressful situations. For example, I always put my glasses on when I want people to take me seriously. (Also when I have a headache, when I drive, when I spend a lot of time looking at  computer, or when I want to feel a little cuter, which means I can send some seriously mixed signals to people who actually know my rituals.)
  9. I really like order.
  10. I think I have some control issues, but I don’t do much about them.
  11. I am afraid of commitment because of the intensity with which I can/ will commit if I allow myself to.
  12. I’m shy about the weirdest things. I am against public performance of any kind on my part.
  13. I’m not shy at all about some of the weirdest things, too. I can talk about sex and mental illnesses and other people’s diseases and never blink; bodies don’t phase me.
  14. People tell me everything. I don’t know why. A lot of the time it is deeply unwelcome, but I don’t know how to tell someone I barely know that I really don’t want to hear their sad stories.
  15. I really like running, and can’t imagine why I stopped.
  16. I deeply regret having been a smoker.
  17. I want to settle down and set roots, but there are so many places I want to live yet.
  18. I hate taking medicine. Give me a home remedy any day, but outside of a daily multivitamin I avoid pills at all costs.
  19. I’m on a clean- living kick this year that is sort of scary/ exhilarating. I hope it sticks.
  20. I converted to rather zealous agnosticism this year. Is zealous agnosticism possible? I strongly believe that it doesn’t matter whether or not there is a God, and that if there is, it’s pretty much none of my business.
  21. I get a lot of comfort out of tradition; I really enjoy the idea of activities with generational continuity.
  22. I want a very small flock of sheep, a goat, and possibly a few chickens.
  23. I’m deeply excited by the idea of living sustainably. An embarrassingly significant part of my excitement has to do with all the list- making possibilities.
  24. I’m really, seriously obsessed with the mail.
  25. I secretly really like wearing skirts.

(Thanks, mamak8did.)

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