in which I talk about another sort of downsizing altogether

I have been losing weight.

It stands to reason I would- lots of angry gym time, working off my frustration, all the little things that an drive a girl batty. And I walk everywhere- we don’t have a vehicle, and while it’s only an eight mile loop, but I wear a pack and bop all over the base on rocky, uneven ground. Also, the food leaves more than a little to be desired, although I’ve had a few things shipped out to me (chocolate, curries, Thai) and I know where to find what’s edible on base. The BBQ chow hall and midnight chow serve me pretty well.

Still, last week I needed to move my wedding band from my left ring finger to my middle finger, and ask Sam to send me out some smaller substitution bands. The ring I’m wearing now isn’t my actual wedding ring- it’s a titanium band, a substitution itself, as I didn’t want to risk anything happening to the real ring out here. Titanium isn’t re- sizeable, though, so I’m hoping that the quickly fading strip of pale skin next to the ring on my middle finger makes the point for me: still married, just smaller.

It’s odd, though; I’ve been wearing that for so long that I sometimes feel as though it’s still on. I’ve heard of phantom limb syndrome, but phantom ring? Too weird.

It’s a good thing, though; through some combination of my thyroid finally coming under control and living this way (car- free + plenty of gym time) the weight sort of slips off. 30 pounds gone since May, and for the first time in a long time I’m happy to be in my body again. Sure, looking cute is nice, but what’s amazing is the difference in my back- sweet, sweet relief. Shocking, to let go of so much of that pain and all the hatred it inspired in me for my own body: I have felt betrayed by my body for several years now. I was an athlete through my twenties; being caught in a body that felt slow, sluggish, and sickly was infuriating.

I still have bad days, but I keep a tennis ball in my bag, and if it gets too bad, I see a massage therapist. (I will never, ever get over having a massage therapist in Afghanistan. That is NUTS.) I’m going to need some serious work with a pro when I get home- maybe, finally, getting around to see a chiropractor- but the weight makes a significant difference. Yoga will help, too, if I can ever remember that I want to go to a class on time.

Speaking of being lighter- to change the subject a little- I’m lighter one WIP.

I ripped back the Transition Gloves. It’s a fantastic pattern, but that light blue just wasn’t working for me- it looked dingy and dull next to the Ink colorway. Funny, because now that it is solo, it looks pretty again. I think that’s bound to become a lace cowl. The Ink, I don’t know- ach, I love that colorway so much. I was thinking of combining it with Sundara’s sock yarn in Pale Sky Over Violet for mittens, possibly? I’m rather in love with the Swirly mittens, as well as the Norwegian Snail Mittens, and I’m determined to make myself a pair of mittens on a string to put inside my coat this year.

(Note to self: also for the queue are the Genmaicha mitts, to be knit out of Dragonfly Fiber’s Red Rocket.)

Hooray for being able to see autumn out ahead of us, even if I have to stand on tiptoes and squint to do so.

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